It's Always Amateur Hour Somewhere, Part I
"I tell you, old sport—I've never met anyone as committed to a single cause as that man Weelykta. Why, I daresay he'd be a sterling example to all of us, if he manages to accomplish anything, of...
View ArticleIt's Always Amateur Hour Somewhere, Part II
"I've always considered writing the most hateful kind of work. I suspect it's a bit like fucking—which is fun only for amateurs. Old whores don't do much giggling. Nothing is fun when you have to do...
View ArticleSometimes You Break a Finger on the Upper Hand
Jesus! Can't you guys recognize bullshit? Don't you think it would be a useful item to add to your intellectual toolkits to be capable of saying, when a ton of wet steaming bullshit lands on your head,...
View ArticleBaby, Let Me Show You a World Without Sin
I don't know where you're going / But you don't know where I've been / Baby, let me show you a world without sin —Malcolm Reynolds* Polarity has never been an issue for me. No, I'm not the kind of guy...
View ArticleSkip the Decline and Go Straight to the Fall
You show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser. —Richard M. Nixon I'm not cut out for management. People have told me, on many occasions, that I don't have "what it takes," and I've usually...
View ArticleI Don't Understand What All the Fuss is About
I mean, clearly, Obama and Bush are the same. And they ROCK. Photos never lie, do they? Especially not an "extraordinary rendition" like that one. Ho ho. I can't wait to get flayed by Gibbs for that,...
View ArticleWould You Like Whipped Cream With That?
"Businessmen, they drink my blood, just like the kids in art school said they would." —President Barack H. Obama Politics is a serious business, or so I'm told—and told often—by people across the...
View ArticleYour Ears You Keep, and I'll Tell You Why
"Harry, you know how much I love watching you pretend to work, but I've got Reagan's 100th birthday to plan, my re-election to fumble, my legacy to cripple, and professional liberals to frame for it....
View ArticleAll 2010 Models Must Go. Get 'Em While You Can.
Hi everybody. It's been a little while since we last spoke, so let me tell you a little secret: I don't care about much except myself. Oh sure, there are about 50 or so people I'd take a bullet for,...
View ArticleUs and Them, Over and Over Again.
Because this is how a picked bass guitar is supposed to sound. Tyler Pope is a genius.
View ArticleAll You Metawar Pie Fighters Deserve Each Other
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "Us and them, over and over again." All this stupid spastic circle-jerky meaningless blogdrama. I hope you people are fucking proud of yourselves. It's...
View ArticleThe Fix is In. Sing it With Me, Y'all.
Biting lyrics from Guy Garvey (below the fold), ice-cold guitar licks from Richard Hawley, and first-rate work from Elbow and everyone else in the studio.
View ArticleMath Mathy Math Math!!
Math, math math math. Math.Math mathy math math! Math? MATH!!!Math...
View ArticleU2: Best Rock Band Ever
As deeply as I can look into the history of popular music, and as much as I can penetrate the logic of the global popular music industry, my conclusions on this are not the least bit tentative or...
View ArticleI've Always Wanted to Say This
I've always wanted to say this, and now I finally can: "Buy my book!""The Weapon of Young Gods" on AmazonYes, just another cheap, self-aggrandizing pile of vomit in the sea of vanity pressed-pulp, but...
View ArticleMitt Romney is Doomed, and it's Bono's Fault
Yeah, this one's for you, Willard—from one rich dork to another. If that headline looks familiar, that's because it should. The ghost of 2008 will haunt the Republicans again and deliver us all from...
View ArticleOffensively Huge Election Yard Sign Sweepstakes: East Ventura Edition!
My neighborhood tends to be 1) dominated by huge ugly yard signs for jerky conservative candidates, and 2) flooded with junk mail by squishy liberal candidates. As a squishy liberal myself, I usually...
View ArticleThis Fight is So F**king Stupid.
I go away for almost all of 2011 and 2012 and when I come back, you fuckers are still bitching about the same old shit. What the fucking fuck? Why are you all still hung up on this useless whining?This...
View ArticleWell I, for one, will miss my UID
Short non-diary just to say that I will still dig being #1889, as long as that lasts, for many reasons:
View ArticleCome to Isla Vista and Say That, Sam
So that one guy not named Joe who isn’t a plumber just couldn’t resist butting in to remind us all he’s, sadly, still here to kick around. What the fucking fuck, dude? Is your fifteen minutes so...
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